WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
