he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
