bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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