Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
