Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
