Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
