so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
