i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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