My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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