I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
