Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
