Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
