I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
