Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
