hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
