how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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