the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
