so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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