the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
