i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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