I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
