absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
