is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
