you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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