hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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