i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
