Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
