I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
