smell my finger.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
