see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
