Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
