She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
nutella sex= disaster
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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