so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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