Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
