I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
