I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
