i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
