shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
