Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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