I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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