I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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