well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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