At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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