see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
