i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
smell my finger.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
