I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
