my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
