also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
