and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
