She's JV to your varsity
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
