do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
