On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
